Motherhood

So much to be thankful for…

~ tinycottageessentials ~ Leave a comment

I tend to spend a lot of time dreaming of what comes next.  Not because what I have isn’t great, but because dreaming, working hard, and achieving goals is what drives me.  I like to work and change and grow.  It’s who I am.

But on Thanksgiving, I like to take stock of what I have.  Stop dreaming.  Count my blessings.  Take a moment to step back from dreaming of what will be and soak in what is.

So without futher ado, here is what I’m thankful for this year.

1.  My babies.  They shriek, they wrestle, they get around faster than any little humans should.  And they keep me in an endless supply of dirty laundry, sleep deprivation, and smiles.  They make me crazy. But I love them.

2.  My backyard ladies – Charlotte the duck, Meryl Cheep, Elizabeak Taylor , and Olivia.  They cluck and scratch and lay the most delcious eggs.  Last week, when the temperatures fell, their egg production dropped.  I had to buy eggs for the first time in almost a year.  It was only then that I remembered just how much they spoil me with fresh eggs daily just a few steps outside my back door.

Just the duck eggs – Charlotte works overtime!

3.  My grandmother’s piano. As I moved around over the years, it sat in storage and out of tune.  But finally it fills my house with music daily.  Whether I’m stealing a few minutes away from chores to practice or my toddler is testing out expressing various moods with notes (Today it was “spooky” music.  Tomorrow it will be “sad” music.  “Mad” is probably my favorite), it is a sound that fills my soul with happiness.

4. My retro hot tub and red wine.  Really that is two things, but it is the best combo. The house we bought at the end of last year came with an old hot tub.  Frankly, its presence didn’t impress us when looking to buy and I grumbled quite a bit at the start, because it needed some pricey maintenance.  But now when I hop in after a day of wrangling the children and animals, a glass of red wine in hand, I can let the stress of the day slip away.

(Source)

5.  My husband.  He humors me when I take on project upon project (and bring home animal after animal).  I pitched him the idea of starting an essential oils business and he was onboard and super supportive.  He gives good backrubs and eats what I cook (no matter how unimpressive, because I work a lot and small children can wear a girl out). And he builds me things – the new, improved chicken coop, the bed frame exactly how I wanted it, the custom kennel enclosure for our dogs… and still I add more.  He’s a keeper.

And I think he is a hunk…

So this thanksgiving, I’m thankful for what I have and am letting go of wanting the things I don’t, even if just for a day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My post baby body

~ tinycottageessentials ~ Leave a comment

I have seen so many women showing and embracing their post pregnancy body.  Showing love for their new self.  And it is fantastic!  And I admire them so much.

These strong women fill my newsfeed with their positive messages and encouragement to redefine what post partum bodies look like in an environment so saturated by images of celebrities getting back to “normal” as quickly as possible.

All this positivity makes me feel a little… well… different than other women.  Maybe a little left out?

The truth is that I don’t feel positive about my post baby body. I have a sense of humor about it, yes, but positive is not how I would describe my feelings on the whole *ahem* situation.

The truth is I don’t like what pregnancy does to my body.  I do not feel physically great during or in the year following pregnancy.  (I won’t digress and tell you about the during pregnancy fun stuff)

Perhaps it is hormonal, but my body seems to lose an initial amount of weight and then it stops.  And it will continue to sit at that weight for about a year until breastfeeding slows.

Before you go suggesting it… tried dieting with both… it’s a waste of time during that first year.  Exercise helps firm things up and that goes a long way, but really no overall weight loss.

After about a year, I am able to get back closer to normal, but realistically my body will never be the same…

You might be from the Northwest if your favorite breastfeeding cover is a plaid flannel shirt.

I have breastfed two children and may at some point breastfeed more.  Let’s say things aren’t quite as perky.

I have gained and lost a good amount of weight.  I don’t gain and lose the “recommended” 25 pounds.  My body prefers 42 pounds and has stuck to that number both times, despite remaining active and eating well, especially the second time in an attempt to gain less weight.

Overdue with Charlie and feeling it.  I made my husband take
3 pictures in order to get one where I felt remotely presentable.

I can’t be the only woman out there that feels this way, right?

I can’t be the only women who wakes up after a few months post baby and thinks ugh, I really wish my favorite jeans fit and my fave black leather jacket zipped around my boobs.

I can’t be the only one who looks longingly at their favorite pre-baby comfy bra and says someday you and I will be together again.

Fortunately my feet didn’t grow, so my shoes and I can still be besties.  Thank God!!  My husband would have a basket case on his hands if I had to part with my favorite boots.

But here is what I can say about my post baby body – I GREW two humans dammit.  So even if my body felt miserable a good portion of the time during pregnancy and even if I feel crappy for a whole year following, I get seriously beautiful babies.

And that’s the reason, I don’t sweat the situation with my body.  That’s why I can laugh and tell the truth about it. Loving or not loving my body is small potatoes compared to the enormity of creating life.  That part makes me feel like kind of like a badass superhero.

Selfie with Charlie!

And I wouldn’t trade my little rascals for all the stretch marks and the extra 17 pounds that has decided to stick around for a year after I have them (seriously… 17 lbs on the nose both times.  So annoying).

Gilbert at just a few days old.  Where did the time go?

So, I’m not towing the party line on loving my post baby body.  I’m going to love what my body gave me (my beautiful, magical, delicious babies) and sit tight on all the body love.

Who knows?  Maybe in a year or two I will feel differently and post some sweet post partum photos on the blog.  (Unlikely though.  I’m not really a body picture type of gal)

Favorite jeans and beautiful custom leather jacket from Argentina… I have tucked you in the back of closet, but I’m not losing hope that we will meet again in about another 9 – 10 months.   Auf Wiedersehen.